Ski season is upon us, and it’s a particularly exciting year. Michelle and I are planning on picking up randonee gear for next season, which means this year will be spent figuring out what gear we’d like to get. For those of you who are unfamiliar with randonee, this is the official definition from Websters:

Ran-duh-nay: French for “Can’t Tele”.

Despite the fact that we won’t be able to “harmonize with the mountain” or do other hippy shit, Michelle and I are determined not to buy tele gear for backcountry skiing, partly because we appreciate not becoming a lawn dart any time you enter snow of different densities.

Many factors contribute to choosing the right randonee gear - factors such as finding the right compromise between stiffness and comfort in the boots, stiffness and weight in the bindings, and weight and width of the skis.

Selecting gear can become very complicated, so whenever choosing new equipment, I find it very helpful to take time to figure out what factors are most important for me personally, and then I focus my search based on those factors.

For me, it comes down to three key items. First, I don’t want to be some chump trying to climb up the hill with some sorry-ass old school Dubtronic 2000’s. Second, when I show up on the scene, I want to do it with some bad-ass motherfuckers, not some wussy shit. Third, when we’re all chillin’ back in the cut sippin’ on cognac and sprites, I need all the ladies to be diggin’ how tight I done rocked my setup.

Armed with my three key points, I set upon the Internets in search of the perfect binding. I have settled on the Marker Dukes, based on the following review at BackCountry.com:

You best get yosef a pair of these less you be a chump trying to climb up the hill with some sorry ass old school dubtronic 2000’s. yesterday i done showed up on da scene with these bad motherf’ers and all the beyotches be like “waa?” and i’m all like “yo fo sho, mang” and then they says like “oh no you d’ int!” and then i slap them in the face and say “check yosef, foo”. Then we all chill and lay back in the cut sippin on cognac and sprites while all the ladies be diggin how tight i done rocked my setup, son.

The bindings probably won’t be perfect, but they should be close enough.