One key to good public speaking is to sprinkle in a few phrases that brings the topic back to something the listener can associate with. A good associative phrase gives the audience something they can sink their teeth into during the various complicated and insightful things being said which are no doubt confusing their inferior brains. It’s a good approach, and when properly executed can lead to a condition I refer to as “being awesome”.

Through a process of trial and error I have discovered that a key contributing factor to the effectiveness of such a phrase is whether or not it makes sense. This is why I strongly discourage George W. Bush from using this technique.

As I stated before, I am no fan of the early-morning press conference; today was no exception. The silver lining is that there is always something said that makes Michelle and I stop what we’re doing an look at each other in disbelief. Here are a few of my favorites from today’s speech:

Where are the Mandelas? Mandela’s dead.

I think he was going somewhere with this one, but it got lost due to his excitement over the fact that he said the word “Mandela” correctly - let alone that he said it twice. It’s hard to keep a shine on your boots when you kick that much ass.

You need to talk to economists. I think I got a B in Econ 101.

There is no way I believe he got a “B” in Econ. Besides, who is the President to comment on the economy? Those reporters were way out of line.

There is no question that there is some unsettling times in the housing market and credits associated with the housing market.

There is some unsettling times? If he got a “B” in Econ, what did he get in English? Do they give out something lower than “F”? I also find it terrifying that there are troubles in the housing market associated with the housing market.

All of us in America want there to be, you know, fairness when it comes to justice.

Fair Justice? Nah. That’s just an pipe dream.

To the extent that innocent life was lost, you know, I’m saddened

I do know. I’m stoked the president is saddened by the scandalous behavior of a giant American company to the extent that innocent life was lost.

Part of the reason why there’s not this instant democracy in Iraq is because people are still recovering from Saddam Hussein’s brutal rule.

Instant Democracy? Is that a Folgers product?