Microsoft recently conducted a study which found that Microsoft’s Internet Explorer is more secure than Mozilla’s Firefox. This is not surprising because I wouldn’t expect Microsoft to (a) be objective or (b) conduct the study in a meaningful way. Conducting a meaningful survey or evaluation of anything is deceptively difficult and depends greatly on choosing meaningful metrics - evaluating application security is no exception.
The metric that Microsoft chose was counting how many bugs were fixed by each company. This is awesome for three reasons. First, it assumes that all software bugs relate to security flaws. Second, it assumes bug tracking at one organization is done in the same way as bug tracking at another. Third, it assumes that both companies are equally committed to fixing bugs. Based on the fact that there are still bugs in Windows XP that existed in Windows 2000, I’m going to guess that Microsoft doesn’t bother too much with fixing bugs. They just call them “features” and move on (and the users should, too).
I didn’t read the whole report, but it appears Microsoft concluded that since Mozilla fixed more bugs than Microsoft in 2004, Microsoft’s browser must be more secure. As Mozilla’s Mike Shaver said, “Just because dentists fix more teeth in America doesn’t mean we have worse teeth than Africa.”
This is inspiring me to adopt the following software development philosophy: I will never fix another bug, thus making all my software 100% secure.
Today is a pretty important day in the Netherlands. December 5th is the eve of Sinterklaas, or “Loot Day”, as I like to call it. December 6th is Saint Nicolas’s birthday, and every 5th of December he and his “helpers” travel through the Netherlands to deliver gifts to all the boys and girls. In yet another example of the many ways the Dutch have shaped American culture, Santa Claus is derived from the Dutch name for Saint Nicolas, Sinterklaas. We gave you the best holiday of the year. Take that, beeyatches.
Although the tradition of a saint delivering gifts to children across the land is shared by both the American Christmas and the Dutch Sinterklaas, the style of the gift-giving is very different. I can’t really speak first-hand about how a typical Dutch family celebrates, but I am to understand it’s fairly similar to what my family did.
The evening starts off with singing various songs, among them “Zie Ginds Komt de Stoomboot” (”Look Here Comes the Steam Boat”), “Zie de Maan Schijnt Door de Boomen” (”See the Moon Shines Through the Trees”), and the all-time classic, “Sinterklaas, Kapoentje” (”We Made Up the Word ‘Kapoentje’ to Rhyme With the Word ‘Schoentje’”).
When we were children, my dad would leave the room after we sang to go work on the car, which always had engine trouble on Sinterklaas. Shortly thereafter, Zwarte Piet would throw pepernoten into the living room through open doors and windows. This had the effect of sending me into terrified hysterics. Most of my memories of this activity involve me hiding behind the couch crying. And, as far as I can remember, I never connected the engine trouble with Zwarte Piet’s arrival.
After the pepernoten, we sit down to fresh-baked rolls for dinner. To our “surprise” and “delight”, we each discover a small, rolled-up note inside our roll when we cut it open. Upon the note is found a riddle, the answer to which reveals the location of the evening’s first gift. We all scurry off around the house to retrieve our gifts and return to the table to open them. We finish the meal before festivities continue. As a child, this felt like standing in front of the toilet after drinking seven strong cups of coffee and being unable to get your pants undone.
After dinner, the real festivities really kick in. This is where it gets to be really fun. Traditionally, the Dutch make what are called “Surprises” (pronounced “sur-pre-sus”) which consist of a gag gift and one or more clues which lead to the actual gift, or a poem. A Surprise with a “gedicht” (poem) makes as much fun of the receiver as possible; no holds barred. The harsher, the better. The receiver then has to read the poem aloud while everyone else listens.
Due to my dad’s position as family alpha-male, he has always been a prime target from all sides. Anyone who knows him knows his lifestyle does not leave a paucity of ammunition. My grandmother has always been particularly good at this, writing such clever poems that we would usually have to take breaks while he read it to catch our breath from the laughing fits. Let me put it this way: sarcasm is not lost on the Dutch.
A Surprise that involves a gag-gift usually needs to be disassembled in order to find the riddle that instructs the receiver of where to find their real gift. A classic example of this was Michelle’s first Sinterklaas with my family. At the time, she was working in a medical research lab as a lab scientist. Michelle received her Surprise from my mother: a small, low dish filled with a green slime with a slip of paper at the bottom. Accompanying it was a note that read, “There’s something fishy in this here petri dishy.” Michelle had to dig through the slime (Jell-o) to get the note out and retrieve her gift.
What is particularly nice about this style of gift-giving is that it really encourages the giving of thoughtful gifts. There is usually less gift-giving, but everyone waits their turn and pays attention to the others while they open their gifts; everyone joins in the enjoyment of each gift as it is being given.
Here is an alternative perspective on Sinterklaas:
I’ve been back from the Netherlands for about a week now, but have been too busy to put together the photo album from the trip. Thankfully, I had some procrastinating to do today and was able to get right to it.
Apart from us both getting sick, we had a great time running around my home country. It is always a pleasure to be in Europe, but to have the chance to show Michelle my favorite places and spend time with family that we see all too infrequently was a real privilege.
Here is a high-level overview of our trip:
Day 1: After delayed flights and the usual confusion brought on by being in UnAmerica, Michelle and I finally met up at our hotel in Amsterdam. Thrilled to see each other, we popped out for dinner and enjoyed a nice bottle of wine. After dinner, I brought Michelle over to a Snackbar that I had spied with my little eye while trying to find a parking spot. Michelle was introduced to the almighty Croquette. And it was good.
Day 2: My cousin Jochem, who lives in Amsterdam, met up with us in the city center and took us around to his favorite places in town. Amsterdam is a wonderful city and, although it is a small city by many standards, it has so many distinct neighborhoods and such a diverse culture that it feels larger than it is.
Day 3: We traveled a sixth of the way across the country (about fifty kilometers) to Delft, my favorite city on Earth. We started the day by popping down to the market to score some fresh stroopwaffles. Michelle’s life will never be the same. After that, my Uncle Gijs and Aunt Vibeke took us to the Kinderdijk, which is a windmill museum in the province of South Holland. We had lunch in Schoonhaven before returning to Delft to have dinner with my cousin Barent in Leiden.
Day 4: We kicked around Delft and took Gijs and Vibeke out to dinner.
Day 5: We went to Amsterdam to meet my cousins Deborah, Folkert, and Coen and spent the day walking around town, visiting cafes, and shopping. The big event of the day was taking a boat tour of the canals in Amsterdam with a racist boat captain who was so thrilled to have actual Dutchmen on the boat that he spent the boat ride spewing racist jokes at us.
Day 6: We had a ‘rest’ day at my Aunt Doortje and Uncle Max’s house in Utrecht. My dad is knowns as a bit of an over-packer, and traditionally takes up a minimum of three rooms while repacking suitcases. Not one to disappoint family, Michelle and I arrived with the maximum number of suitcases allowed by the airlines, and proceeded to occupy the requisite number of rooms while trying to figure out how to get all our things packed into the right suitcases (this goes to India, this goes to Seattle, etc). My cousin Welmoed, who has since moved to New York City, Jochem, and his girlfriend Anette all joined us for a wonderful dinner in town.
This is not surprising because I wouldn’t expect Microsoft to (a) be objective or (b) conduct the study in a meaningful way. Conducting a meaningful survey or evaluation of anything is deceptively difficult and depends greatly on choosing meaningful metrics - evaluating application security is no exception.
December 6th is Saint Nicolas’s birthday, and every 5th of December he and his “
had some procrastinating to do today and was able to get right to it.
